The benefits of travelling in the off-season: you've got the whole place to yourself, and if there's magic to be had - it's yours.
We were driving through the Burren, south of Galway in the west of Ireland, the first day of the world, after visiting my Mom's grave in Spiddal on the last. We pulled over randomley, shocked and lured by the stark raw beauty of a hillside, and we got out and wandered.
Ireland welcomed us into a sacred landscape. There was a snippet of a poem on a brochure with a great map, which we mysteriously lost, which summed it up;.. "in the west, I find my soul.." or something like that. It is apparently un-google-able (and I know from experience that some of the poems I've quoted here are only available online in this blog, because people come to me by them, and so I assume there are lots of poems not yet online). A Quest, it is..
The rain and mist, raw rocks, fractured soul of Ireland: all one piece underneath. It is a landscape of limestone karst - fields of limestone, flat, and broken into rectangles and decorated by the hands of man with a web of one-stone-wide stone walls..
And - monuments. To what? Unknown. We saw a Hare close to a Dolmen (the Poulnabroun) and it hopped off towards a pit. The pit had apparently been a cave system, associated with the Dolmen, which collapsed in the past. We found a little hole that clearly was part of a still-existent cave (because you could feel air moving within).
Down the rabbit-hole.. into another world. When I looked it up - the Hare is associated with Dolmens in Druidry, as both are representative of rebirth.
The trip spelled rebirth for me - I didn't realize how much I was drowning - in worries and stresses and misaligned dreams. In the time away the sun rose on a new day, and the future is again sparkling with possibility and the faerie-dust of the unknown...
Thank you, Ireland.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
the end is near
this blog has no clear subject matter or order.
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Driver, where you taken' us
God speaks to each of us when he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.,
Rilke
I'm realizing that what I refer to as my 'wildness' - the need/desire to always be on the move, challenged, travelling - is a sort of biological drive-depression, and many of my close friends suffer/are blessed from it as well.
It is a kind of depression, and I remember this really sweet, hot, brilliant woman (I loved before) saying - "you and me are the same, but I take drugs for it, and you don't." It's true. Instead - I live in four provinces and 8 towns/cities in a five year period, have three careers in that time, and fall in love almost every day.
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Driver, where you taken' us
God speaks to each of us when he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.,
Rilke
I'm realizing that what I refer to as my 'wildness' - the need/desire to always be on the move, challenged, travelling - is a sort of biological drive-depression, and many of my close friends suffer/are blessed from it as well.
It is a kind of depression, and I remember this really sweet, hot, brilliant woman (I loved before) saying - "you and me are the same, but I take drugs for it, and you don't." It's true. Instead - I live in four provinces and 8 towns/cities in a five year period, have three careers in that time, and fall in love almost every day.
"our heartbeat".
A friend told me about some dudes he knew years ago on the waterfront in Calgary, they said, broken-toothed and black-eyed - "we like to get drunk and fight." He said, "no shit." It's not that I think I'm going to save the world, it's that I like it. I like to fight. And this fight is the prettiest with the worst odds. So it seemed like a good way to spend my life. Life is fundamentally meaningless, but yet - I have not forgotten you.
"I don't give a fuck about hockey."
Considering: A - I am flying to Ireland on Friday, and B - the world is ending (and a new world of sharing/"communitarianism" is coming into being) only six days later (Dec. 21, 2012), I will quote the hot English chick from Snatch (at the bookey's) = "All. Bets. Are. Off."
Life requires a certain mercilessness, always. To throw out the old, or "going-to-be-old-any-day-now" and make room for the new.
A friend told me about some dudes he knew years ago on the waterfront in Calgary, they said, broken-toothed and black-eyed - "we like to get drunk and fight." He said, "no shit." It's not that I think I'm going to save the world, it's that I like it. I like to fight. And this fight is the prettiest with the worst odds. So it seemed like a good way to spend my life. Life is fundamentally meaningless, but yet - I have not forgotten you.
"I don't give a fuck about hockey."
Considering: A - I am flying to Ireland on Friday, and B - the world is ending (and a new world of sharing/"communitarianism" is coming into being) only six days later (Dec. 21, 2012), I will quote the hot English chick from Snatch (at the bookey's) = "All. Bets. Are. Off."
Life requires a certain mercilessness, always. To throw out the old, or "going-to-be-old-any-day-now" and make room for the new.
Every day, I'm dumpin' the bodies.
“The twenty-first of December 2012 is the end of selfishness, of division. The twenty-first of December has to be the end of Coca-Cola and the beginning of mocochinche (a local peach-flavored soft drink). “The planets will line up after 26,000 years. It is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism.”
“The twenty-first of December 2012 is the end of selfishness, of division. The twenty-first of December has to be the end of Coca-Cola and the beginning of mocochinche (a local peach-flavored soft drink). “The planets will line up after 26,000 years. It is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism.”
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Life on Earth (the cloud people)
In the autumn night
when there's no wind blowin'
I could hear the stars falling in the dark
... when confronted with a decision, or a fork in the road in life, sometimes I get tangled up in what's around me - a person, a place, a job. But sometimes - I fly up, way up, among the clouds, and look down on the world, and think - why am I here - what is the purpose of my life here on Earth? From that view, everything is clear..
Lately I've been encountering the most beautiful people, truly exceptional human beings, just so clear - like mountain streams in spring. I'm not talking physically beautiful (although often) and I'm not talking worldly-successful (although, again - often - at what they've chosen), but I'm talking CLEAR - people who seem more like spirits, just walking around in skins - they are kind, warm, open, patient, understanding, gracious - and 'of their own'. Humble.
Supposedly the things you notice in others - that make you angry, or attract you - are things in yourself that you are either denying exist, or are moving towards. I started noticing clarity in others a few years ago, and find I'm more and more drawn to it.
I was going to go to Mexico/Gautemala.. for the "end of the world" (not that I really think it's going to end, but I'm kinda hoping it might begin..) this is the trip I was contemplating in The Wanderer. It just started to feel wrong - there was an element of ego to it, and it was stressing me financially, and I've again had to re-contemplate my role in life and where I am, and why. So I dropped it, "let go."
I was just getting busy creating plans and accepting that I'd be home for the Holidays, and then something new came to fill the space - turns out I'll be in Ireland for the 'end of the world'. As I said to my brother, I "will go see Mom, and celebrate the turning of the ages where our ancestors did 2600 years ago." In fact, it's 2460 years. It is the end of an age and the beginning of another. No big deal - but a fucking awesome time to be alive. I feel like this is the most amazing period of flux and change and opportunity to shape the future - that we have seen in a long time..
We all have our chance to be part of it.. And I guess that's the sixth way I could define why I live the life I do - to be "part of it."
One of these cloud people reminded me lately that .. we are the total investment of all of our ancestors. Why would I go to Mexico, other than 'it's cool' - when I can be with my blood - a place where my blood runs in the ground? Where my ancestors fought, died, and made me (the fun way)?
I keep writing this blog because I assume there are other people out there going through the same shit I'm going through: reaching for the stars, lookin for a place to stand, taking a stand, hoping for a break, always - an eye on a distant star. Otherwise known as the Rainbow Warriors - one by one, through the mists - you are revealing yourselves. To those who haven't yet - I am looking for you.
Talk to the spirits
Talk to the wind
Ceremony
.. of the Cloud People
when there's no wind blowin'
I could hear the stars falling in the dark
... when confronted with a decision, or a fork in the road in life, sometimes I get tangled up in what's around me - a person, a place, a job. But sometimes - I fly up, way up, among the clouds, and look down on the world, and think - why am I here - what is the purpose of my life here on Earth? From that view, everything is clear..
Lately I've been encountering the most beautiful people, truly exceptional human beings, just so clear - like mountain streams in spring. I'm not talking physically beautiful (although often) and I'm not talking worldly-successful (although, again - often - at what they've chosen), but I'm talking CLEAR - people who seem more like spirits, just walking around in skins - they are kind, warm, open, patient, understanding, gracious - and 'of their own'. Humble.
Supposedly the things you notice in others - that make you angry, or attract you - are things in yourself that you are either denying exist, or are moving towards. I started noticing clarity in others a few years ago, and find I'm more and more drawn to it.
I was going to go to Mexico/Gautemala.. for the "end of the world" (not that I really think it's going to end, but I'm kinda hoping it might begin..) this is the trip I was contemplating in The Wanderer. It just started to feel wrong - there was an element of ego to it, and it was stressing me financially, and I've again had to re-contemplate my role in life and where I am, and why. So I dropped it, "let go."
I was just getting busy creating plans and accepting that I'd be home for the Holidays, and then something new came to fill the space - turns out I'll be in Ireland for the 'end of the world'. As I said to my brother, I "will go see Mom, and celebrate the turning of the ages where our ancestors did 2600 years ago." In fact, it's 2460 years. It is the end of an age and the beginning of another. No big deal - but a fucking awesome time to be alive. I feel like this is the most amazing period of flux and change and opportunity to shape the future - that we have seen in a long time..
We all have our chance to be part of it.. And I guess that's the sixth way I could define why I live the life I do - to be "part of it."
One of these cloud people reminded me lately that .. we are the total investment of all of our ancestors. Why would I go to Mexico, other than 'it's cool' - when I can be with my blood - a place where my blood runs in the ground? Where my ancestors fought, died, and made me (the fun way)?
I keep writing this blog because I assume there are other people out there going through the same shit I'm going through: reaching for the stars, lookin for a place to stand, taking a stand, hoping for a break, always - an eye on a distant star. Otherwise known as the Rainbow Warriors - one by one, through the mists - you are revealing yourselves. To those who haven't yet - I am looking for you.
Talk to the spirits
Talk to the wind
Ceremony
Ceremony ..
.. of the Cloud People
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