it's Blissmas (baby please come home)

That's my favourite Christmas song. It has been since I was 17 or 18; 1989.

They're singin deck the halls,
but it's not like Christmas at all
I remember when you were here
and all the fun we had last year

I spent most of my Christmas on planes this year. Funny, most people would whine about that, I thought it was the nicest gift I could give myself. And it was, that, and the result - getting back to Halifax to see my bro and friends and family.
(In case any readers haven't figured this out yet - I'm kinda like one of those dogs that just likes to go places  - in the car, walks, trips, wherever, just mention "road trip," and, like putting your hand up to catch a ball that someone throws to you, I say, "I'm ready.")

And heaven will smell like the airport,
but I may never get that proven
...
You're an animal too

I made my first friend at 6am when I got on the subway/skytrain in Vancouver - Mark, I think - cool guy, little younger than me - getting on the same flight to Toronto. No friends on the flight, just time to read. Ah, time to read.
On the second flight I sat next to a lovely woman - Angel - indeed. Tons of stuff in common, chatted away and read and napped. Ok, I was meditating.
I find planes, buses and trains a great place to do that and arrive refreshed and clear. The steward, who looked like the jedi knight Mace Windu, had come by a few times already, commenting on my Joseph Campbell book - Pathways to Bliss (my other Christmas present to myself). Published posthumously, which I normally avoid, but since I have a bumper sticker that says "Follow Your Bliss" on my journal, I thought I'd try it.
It's great so far. At times I think Campbel-worship has gotten in the way and they should have edited certain things, but then - I like the open quality of it. More on that later, once I'm farther into the book.
Angel, a Hindu, was reading a book on Buddhism. As I was finishing up meditating he came by and asked her/us if we meditate. Hilarious. We were like the secret guru threesome. Fun, fun flight. Perfect for Christmas.
But then, traveling on Christmas isn't only about the joy of it. It's also "walking to slay the ghost." For me anyway.
For someone who's lost people in life, holidays have a funny taint. Strangely, out of everyone, the one I think of most often at Christmas is an ex-girlfriend, Laura, who passed away a few years ago. Ok, ten years ago. She was 27ish. She was never actually my girlfriend, but 'just a friend.' We met in grade 11. I was certainly in love with her. I always thought, one day, older, we'd run into each other in a hotel bar in Cairo, or Chicago, and talk - really talk about what had happened and what we had meant to each other.
In 2000 when she died we hadn't talked in years, we were both married and in our late twenties, she lived down in the states. She had health problems when I knew her, so I wasn't surprised as much as saddened.
We had always talked about travel; one day being photographers for national geographic, or such things. It was a reminder to me, in a long season of death - to live my life, that those things you put off till later, you may never get to do.
We had a great Christmas holiday together back then, I guess the first of my life with love's bloom, and Arthur and I played that song by U2 over and over.
I gotta say, now - after almost 6 months of travel - is the closest I've ever felt to the being the person I was back then, in some ways I am more 'me'. Strange.
Arthur gave me two books for Christmas - The Writing Warrior, by Laraine Herring, and Film Production Management 101: The Ultimate Guide for Film and Television Production Management and Coordination, by Deborah S. Patz. The one I (and I think all men) ask to come home is - not Laura, but my own divine feminine (although I wouldn't complain). Here are two books taking me further into creativity, written by women, about warriorship and laying out paths to action. In all knight tales the knight gets lost, and women guide him. Of course the books would be meaningless if they weren't blissful for me, if they didn't resonate - but I clearly love to write, and I woke up at 3:45 am last night to read the book on film production. Incidentally, I also posted my thanks on facebook earlier today, not thinking of this blog entry - to all the wonderful women in my life, and there are many. I'm really blessed. Maybe I'm getting closer to some sort of unity with the archetypal feminine. I don't know.
Last week a girlfriend of mine fb messaged me - "Happy Blissmas," and I started repeating it. It goes with the book, and my life these days. This journey I'm on is about just that - finding my path. And old JC has reminded me of it.
This quote from the bliss book is Joseph Campbell re-telling a key part of La Queste del Saint Graal in his own words, with some interpretation too:
There's a moment in King Arthur's banquet hall when all the knights are assembled around the Round Table. Arthur would not let anyone start to eat until an adventure had occurred. Well, in those days adventures were rather normal, so people didn't go hungry for long.
They were waiting for this day's adventure, and it did indeed occur. The Holy Grail itself showed itself to the assembled knights - not in its full glory but covered with a great, radiant cloth. Then it withdrew. All were left ravished, sitting there in awe.
Finally, Gawain, Arthur's nephew, stood up and said, "I propose a vow to this company, that we should all go in quest of that Grail to behold it unveiled."
Now we come to the text that interested me. The text reads, "They thought it would be a disgrace to go forth in a group. Each entered the Forest Adventurous at that point which he himself had chosen, where it was darkest and there was no way or path."
You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there's a way or path, it is someone else's path; each human being is a unique phenomenon.
The idea is to find your own pathway to bliss.

Happy Blissmas to All.