the end is near

this blog has no clear subject matter or order.

This is the end
My only friend, the end

Driver, where you taken' us 

God speaks to each of us when he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.

Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.,

Rilke

I'm realizing that what I refer to as my 'wildness' - the need/desire to always be on the move, challenged, travelling - is a sort of biological drive-depression, and many of my close friends suffer/are blessed from it as well.

It is a kind of depression, and I remember this really sweet, hot, brilliant woman (I loved before) saying - "you and me are the same, but I take drugs for it, and you don't." It's true. Instead - I live in four provinces and 8 towns/cities in a five year period, have three careers in that time, and fall in love almost every day. 

"our heartbeat".

A friend told me about some dudes he knew years ago on the waterfront in Calgary, they said, broken-toothed and black-eyed - "we like to get drunk and fight." He said, "no shit." It's not that I think I'm going to save the world, it's that I like it. I like to fight. And this fight is the prettiest with the worst odds. So it seemed like a good way to spend my life. Life is fundamentally meaningless, but yet - I have not forgotten you.

"I don't give a fuck about hockey."

Considering: A - I am flying to Ireland on Friday, and B - the world is ending (and a new world of sharing/"communitarianism" is coming into being) only six days later (Dec. 21, 2012), I will quote the hot English chick from Snatch (at the bookey's) = "All. Bets. Are. Off."

Life requires a certain mercilessness, always. To throw out the old, or "going-to-be-old-any-day-now" and make room for the new. 

Every day, I'm dumpin' the bodies.


“The twenty-first of December 2012 is the end of selfishness, of division. The twenty-first of December has to be the end of Coca-Cola and the beginning of mocochinche (a local peach-flavored soft drink). “The planets will line up after 26,000 years. It is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism.”