10.) Guy LaFleur and the Wheel of Fortune

My tenth posting. I didn't really expect this blog to take off, either in the way of my being inspired to do it, or in people reading it. Turns out I was wrong.
These are happy days for me, simple days. I have decisions to make, theoretically, but don't feel any pressure to do so, or any sense of time closing in. It's more like it's opening up. Every time I refuse to be panicked, about money, work, or my next move, time seems to open up a little more. I keep meeting great, interesting people, and getting interesting offers, good work, places to stay, friendship.
Catface Mountain is proceeding well, although it's like two blind trains heading towards an intersection, neither knows which will get there first, and the slower may not be able to stop for the faster. For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, it's the proposed copper mine on Catface Mountain in Clayoquot Sound. See my earlier posting "Tofino and the Thunderbird" for more info.
I was at a party last Saturday night and someone said they thought the best solution was to get the highest level of environmental assessment (EA). I said, "really?" He said, "yeah, what do you think?"
I said, "a - help the Ahousat see that it's not in their interests so they withdraw support, and b - Imperial Metals does not apply for a permit at all." He said, "wow, that's an aggresive stance." I said "really?" ;)
'Tis the gift to be simple,
'tis the gift to be free,
'tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
It will be in the valley of love and delight.
What new world are we making? As a homeless person, who is wandering around, making people laugh, helping them out, doing what I can to protect the green world that we come from, not just at birth, but that every day remakes us through our food, air and water, and trying to take care of my own needs at the same time (they are few, the biggest one right now seems to be to write and to travel and to experience) part of the deep peace I feel many days seems to be attached to some sense that the world I'm contributing to is a good one. One where people have time for each other, where money's not so important, where some friends, laughter and a bit to eat are the most complex needs that have to be met, where creativity and passion are valued.
Maybe all of our number's are coming up. In the lotto. Some days I feel like I've already won.
The moon is full
The night is very still
My heart beats
Like a bell.
I always knew that I would step out and travel, wander, not lost, and that it would be part of 'becoming me'. I remember taking a vacation with my Mom, her friend Barb, and Barb's son Jason, who was a few years younger than me. I was fifteen or so, had already seen what I think of as my life purpose, and being young and free in spirit, saw it clearly. We stopped at a store somewhere in Nova Scotia, it was an early or late summer afternoon. They were in the store. I was with Jason. He went in the store too. I was alone. In the car, I got out. Stood around a few seconds, could hear a voice, not a voice, but a pull - from within and without. I turned and walked toward the road, down from the store. It must have been late spring I guess, the deciduous trees hung over the road with a wet weightiness in their leaves, full of moisture, moving in the light breeze, creating dappled shadows. I stood in the dirt and gravel by the side of the road, the cars dissappeared. I stepped out onto it, looked one way, and then the other, slowly, off into the distance. I knew.
I knew that one day it would be part of my destiny, and that it would be the only way to really be the person I am. And I knew that it may not, that I could choose otherwise.
I have always known
That at last I would
Take this road, but yesterday
I did not know that it would be today.
As I mentioned in a previous blog - this point came around before; I was 21, very different, and ready to travel the world. I didn't. I am so very deeply thankful that the Wheel of Fortune(10th card in the tarot) has come around again to this point. Instead of the eight or nine which I chose to be before, let me be a ten this time - a Guy LaFleur of 'living my own life'.
I still struggle at times with what to do next, to stay here and serve, do good work, or to go further abroad. Both have risks. I trust that I will make the right decision. The greatest risk, of course, is turning away from myself, the greatest path - that which is true to my heart.
An eagle flew overhead this morning as I chatted with a friend in his backyard, about work, debt, life. A reminder - "keep your eyes to the sky."
Upon his shoulders
he places boulders,
upon his eye
the high wide sky.