March 13th. Finding a Place to Happen

Your intuition, your inner guidance, supports your higher life purpose, but many of us have a tendency to ignore it. Sometimes, the universe steps in and gives you an extra push with an amazing synchronicity.

I'm pretty sure I saw a golden eagle today. Which is wierd. I guess this entry might be about... life purpose, how you find it, and how it finds you.

Sometimes it's hard to tell golden eagles from juvenile bald eagles, both generally appear as completely dark. But I've seen quite a few juvies over the last 6 months, and they tend to look patchy, whereas goldens, even though they do have some light splotches, tend to appear totally dark in bad light. Who knows. They live in that area, so I'm going to assume it was because... that works for me.

I was in Surrey BC, it was about 8:45 am, and I was driving by a salt marsh. I was listening to "looking for a place to happen," by the Tragically Hip.
I thought, "maybe after work I'll take a drive along the coast and see if I see a golden eagle..." I've thought of March 13 as my 'eagle-birthday' since my first sighting of one on that day in 2005. It was a moment of awakening, and the golden eagle is the bird the 'Phoenix' is based on - symbol of rebirth, so it's kinda like a birthday.
I literally completed that thought, and a huge bird of prey lifted out of the marsh to my left, and flew over the highway in front of me.
I couldn't stop, too much traffic. I didn't need to. I thought at first it was a bald eagle, looked for the white tail - none; I peered. My eyes aren't what they used to be, but it was all dark, like the one I saw on March 13th 2005.

Preface: let's be clear - I don't necessarily think animals are sending me messages, although I haven't ruled that out. But I am sure that I can take whatever lessons I want from the world around me. As a synchronous event (4 seen in my life, 2 on March 13th's, both March 13th's being Sundays): I guess it does bear the question of what these things mean, no pun intended.

To ascribe an intention to chance is either the height of absurdity or the depth of profundity - according to the way in which we understand it. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Sighting 1 - March 13th 2005. It was a Sunday afternoon, I was on my way to school to study. I was in second year law school. My life was a mess, my marriage was a disaster, my career - was in question - I was unsure of what direction to go. And then I saw this giant thing -  I'm sure she had a ten foot windspan - on the Arm in Halifax. I almost crashed, pulled my car over, watched. The seagulls didn't know what to make of her - they crowded around, but were afraid to get close and there was huge empty space around her. I watched her till she flew off, into the mystery.
I say her because, among birds of prey, females are larger. It's hard to imagine a bird bigger than this. I've seen hundreds of bald eagles, this bird was significantly larger than any I've ever seen.
She said: "Follow your highest ideals." It was an absolute turning point in my life. I started making changes, making decisions based on what I really wanted out of life, and where I wanted to go.

 Nature's a temple where living columns

 Sometimes deliver messages in riddles;

 Man makes his way through forests of symbols

 That watch him with intimate knowledge.

        - Baudelaire

Sighting 2 - Geneva, June 2006. I don't remember the day, it's in one of my journals. It was also a Sunday afternoon. It was our last afternoon in Geneva, a city I love, and we had it off. I was there, as the final stage of my law degree - doing a certificate in international public law - "save the world" type stuff. All Geneva brought up for me, despite visits to the Red Cross and UN headquerters - was that I wanted to be an artist one day, in the future, when I got sick of "saving the world."
Walking back with my friend Anatoly from the health food store in France I had insisted we go to  (it was about 2 hours away, I bought some cookies - they were good) we met up with some other students. It was a sunny early summer afternoon, we were walking along the lake shore, laughing, talking; goofing off. I hadn't let myself goof off, or really enjoy life - for years. It's been hard to re-learn. I was obsessed with some skewed self-image of being sober and responsible. Which I thought excluded fun. There was this bird, clearly a bird of prey - flying around above us as we walked back to the hotel in the sunny sunshine.
He was just goofing off - whirling around, doing flips, and spins, turning over in the air - showing off a bit, but not for us, or anyone - but just to say; "I can." Or maybe "wheeeeee!"
I went back to the library and discovered golden eagles live in Switzerland, and they are the only bird there that fits his description. Hmph.
He said: "remember to enjoy the process - have fun!"

"I don't dream in the night so much, or don't remember. I dream like this. I need to know if I should go out west, and I look up and there are three geese in flight, flying west like an arrowhead, with a hawk in front of them. Those three geese, the way they were flying, told me to go west." - Freida Jacques, Mother of the Turtle Clan of the Onondaga People.

Sighting 3 - The Rockies, the Yellowhead Highway, late July 2010. Clyf and I were driving across Canada, well, part of it. I hate it when people say that when they're driving from Ontario or Quebec to BC. Ummm?
We were driving along in silence, the Hip on the stereo (again, I know). "Let's stay engaged" was playing. There was some road kill up ahead. Two ravens came along and chased off a big bird of prey as we got close. It's colour was clear as it swooped off across the highway in front of us, flying fast, low down, between some trees, with the two ravens chasing it: it had a golden sheen.
Clyf and I looked at each other - "was that?" "um, really?" "Holy shit."
"That was a golden eagle, wasn't it?" Clyf said. I said, "yes, it was."
That lesson was more nuanced: "Stay engaged," it has two interpretations for me (Clyf, did it say anything to you?).
One element is romance - "take your time, there's no rush. If someone cares about you they'll hang around." It has taken me a while to get that, but considering we've moved on to the next lesson - I guess I've got it enough to scrape by. The other is - to stay "engaged" with life. Stay engaged with the world around me, do things/work of concrete value, stay connected, stay grounded.
The two are one. For me. Balance in personal relationships + being the way I like to be in the world (in it) = happiness. A rich spiritual life is important to me too, but that element's a given. Clearly.

Your function is to create the point of your life.

In so doing, you create your Self.

You decide

who and what you really are -

and who you are going to be.

Sighting 4. March 13th, 2011. Also a Sunday. Last night I started a little book I had kicking around my car that I picked up over the summer. It's called "Bringers of the Light," by Neale Donald Walsch. It seemed a bit pretentious, but looked neat too.
The first chapter is called, "Life is pointless, and that is God's greatest gift." I've thought that for years, but it was a nice reminder - you can just pick whatever you want to do, or what your meaning of life is, which I suppose is what I've done. Maybe this is a reminder that I can change that too, refine it.

"Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer." - Joseph Campbell

The phrase, looking for a place to happen - kinda says that: where do you choose to happen? Where do you want to choose to happen? Where do I?
Because we can pick anything we want: money, or meaning, relationships, love, family, stability, adventure, God, ourselves, any combination, anything we can imagine - and, like the lesson from the Razors Edge and Apocalypse Now - "everyone gets what they want."

Life is synchronous. I've had lots of self doubt lately as I look for work and try to find my next step, so this event, like the other three, also says - "don't worry - you're on your path." I've been doubting that lately because I can't see my next step, but the point is - whatever that next step is - that is my path - my 'place to happen,' as long as my heart says yes. Old Joe also said:

If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path.

Thank you.