Travels on Mother Earth

I have no parents--I make the heavens and earth my parents.

This entry is pretty much a continuation of the last one. But different. I've been marvelling at the world lately, the revolutions in the Middle East, Bolivia: passing laws recognizing the rights of Mother Earth? Who would have guessed that ten years ago? Count on an indigenous government to lead the way. Not that we euro's are stupid, but we've been leading for a while, and have gotten us as far as we can.

It's a beautiful document, and statement.
http://motherearthrights.org/

affirming that to guarantee human rights it is necessary to recognize and defend the rights of Mother Earth and all beings in her and that there are existing cultures, practices and laws that do so;
...
Article 1. Mother Earth
1. Mother Earth is a living being.
2. Mother Earth is a unique, indivisible, self-regulating community of interrelated beings that sustains, contains and reproduces all beings.
3. Each being is defined by its relationships as an integral part of Mother Earth.
4. The inherent rights of Mother Earth are inalienable in that they arise from the same source as existence.
5. Mother Earth and all beings are entitled to all the inherent rights recognized in this Declaration without distinction of any kind, such as may be made between organic and inorganic beings, species, origin, use to human beings, or any other status.
6. Just as human beings have human rights, all other beings also have rights which are specific to their species or kind and appropriate for their role and function within the communities within which they exist.
7. The rights of each being are limited by the rights of other beings and any conflict between their rights must be resolved in a way that maintains the integrity, balance and health of Mother Earth.

My parents have passed on, as any readers know, so making the Heavens and Earth my parents is not a tough one for me. But in a way I think we all need to do that - like any new religion - abandon our old ways, our attachments to old things, and make the Earth and the Universe our parents.

At the same time I've started reading the Bhagwan again - Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (OSHO), and can't escape his dictates - that the most powerful thing is to simply be yourself. We are both dark and light, mostly we live in the past or future in our minds, but occasionally we manage to just be here, as us. Meditation helps..

And watched One Week the other night - about a guy who gets diagnosed with cancer and chucks everything to drive a Norton motorcycle across Canada. A lovely Canadian film, it reminded me of my travels and so many journeys to those places - the Sudbury Nickel to Tofino to Alberta's rolling hills. But the point is - we all have a week to live. Or less.

A teenage boy heard about the new law in Bolivia and said to his Dad - "I want to go there and be part of it - to see Mother Earth." His Dad said, "really?" and looked at him, looked down at the ground. The boy looked down at the ground. Silence. He looked up, "gotcha."

Mother Earth is right here, being ourselves is right here. We have one week to do it. Whatever it is.

Dark is a way and light is a place,
Heaven that never was
Nor will be ever is always true

No, we have one moment to do it - now. I do want to go to Bolivia, and feel the energy of change, of the future. And I wish I was in the Middle East right now, soaking up revolution. But if I had one week to live, one minute, one moment, here, now, what would it be?

I am on Earth, perfect and imperfect, torn between the past and future, can I simply accept what I am?
I am that.

Go Ask Alice (why we write)

About a year and a half ago, in a moment of brashness - I asked the Universe to 'speed things up'. Every time I recall that, with a shiver, (because it's usually at a time when changes are coming quickly and slightly uninvited) I'm tempted to think or say, "ok, that's enough" but instead I whisper - "keep it up, I know I whine sometimes, but I like it better this way..." ..or something to that effect.
There have been lots of changes in my life lately.

You ride now on cobbled streets

beyond my ramparts

to the palace of desires and hauteurs

of sweet airs and embraces

where once you forgot your duty

and the needs of the people

until I brought the roof down.

Remember, falcon rider.

I certainly feel like I've forgotten my duty before. What is 'our duty'? To create a better life? Simply to live an authentic life? I don't know.. to follow our bliss, perhaps.

It's from another Robert Moss poem: The Tower. The destruction of structures we have created for ourselves. De-structure. The sharp-shinned hawk, mentioned in the last blog, that I saw at lunch while at a session on soul-recovery with Robert, I had thought was a falcon, and told him so at the end of that day. When I found this poem a few days ago it seemed pretty on-point for my life, and..  synchronous.

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "Off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said

Feed your head

Feed your head. I was making some art based on that song, and line, when my Dad died. The white knight - means to me; the empty cup - the buddist idea of letting go of all notions of yourself and letting the Universe flow through you. Adding to that the idea of "knight" = an empty warrior, one who lets the Universe flow through him, does not have his own agenda. I didn't know it meant all this to me when I was drawing it, back in 2001.

I have no parents--I make the heavens and earth my parents. - A Samurai Warrior's Creed

 
Goes hand in hand with the Tower. Although it may not seem so at first. I think it's about the cycles of life - like crab shells we all work hard on making, and then must let go of when we outgrow them - this is a natural process. The Universe can't flow through you when you're holding onto things you have outgrown. I certainly didn't see the relationship between 'feed your head,' the white knight, and the Tower, when Dad left my life. I saw that he had always fed his head - read, learned, grown, and changed. We can only grow if we can let go.

every day new dreams must die

see what's on the other side

I started following a blog called Expotera a long time ago. Not sure why, except it's good.
After a recent career set-back (not that big a deal) I've been wondering over the last few days what role writing has in my life, and if I should do more, or less. I've been asking myself: is that, in some ways, where I'm going, where I've been going for a long time?

As I was pondering this question the other day I happened upon this entry: http://expotera-ceo.blogspot.com/2011/07/open-letter-to-world.html it's called "Open Letter to the World." You should read it. I'm not sure if Tony wrote it, or reposted from here: http://www.anonnews.org/?p=press&a=item&i=619.

"But something unexpected is happening. We have begun telling each other our own stories. Sharing our lives, our hopes, our dreams, our demons.
Every second, day in day out, into all hours of the night the gritty details of life on this earth are streaming around the world.

As we see the lives of others played out in our living rooms we are beginning to understand the consequences of our actions and the error of the old ways.

We are questioning the old assumptions that we are made to consume not to create, that the world was made for our taking, that wars are inevitable, that poverty is unavoidable.

As we learn more about our global community a fundamental truth has been rediscovered: We are not so different as we may seem.

Every human has strengths, weaknesses, and deep emotions. We crave love, love laughter, fear being alone and dream for a better life.

You must create a better life.
You cannot sit on the couch watching television or playing video games, waiting for a revolution. You are the revolution."

I took the timing to be synchronous. We are all connected. Everything belongs to you and me. AND - we belong to it. I'll keep writing. Is that my duty?

His post expresses why we all write - to change the world, to change ourselves, and to ease the pain of the pain and glory of existence - by sharing it with one another. Let's all surf the net and see how much people out there are like us. They are us.

He sees the stars and hollow sky
He see the stars come out tonight
He sees the city's ripped backsides
He sees the winding ocean drive
And everything was made for you and me
All of it was made for you and me
'cause it just belongs to you and me
So let's take a ride and see what's mine

Sharp-shinned Pat and the Texada Project

Went to Texada Island the weekend before last, and Powell River. With my pal Jesse James. We called it "The Texada Project" - from Vancouver to Texada and back, in three days. Three ferry crossings each way. Went in his little green truck. We met Gabriel there and a posse that is feeling kind of like my posse these days, although I don't see them nearly enough.

What a fantastic place! Went for a festival, and hiked through the woods, it took about an hour of heavy bushwhacking. Through beautiful forest and green life.. Past wasps and razor-bush - Gabriel's shins got scratched. A lot. Ok - cut to shreds. Not mine though. (not sure if that's because they're sharp, or because I had jeans on, but I just like the image.. ;)

This weekend I did a course with Robert Moss on Shamanic dreaming and soul recovery, here in Vancouver. It was a lot of fun. Saw a sharp-shinned hawk (I know now that I've looked it up), in the woods, while eating lunch with some fellow dreamers. It landed right in front of us on a tree, then went to another, and we followed it around a little bit to get a closer look. It was a pretty bird, strong and fragile at the same time, a hunter - steel gray on the back, with an orange and cream chest and a banded tail. It seemed a bit injured - it could still fly, but not that well, and was sheltering itself.
I wondered, "is that my soul up there?"

I had worn my eagle t-shirt, in shameless openness about what I see as my guiding spirit. When I said at the start of the day that I didn't know (anymore(after yesterday's shorter session)) why I was there, Mr. Moss said, "did a bird of prey carry you in its talons and drop you here?"

Maybe it did, my friend, I wouldn't put it past them. It takes a lot to get me where I should be.

He wrote in his blog today;

Knight, you came to this crossing before
bold and green, fired up for the quest,
and did not know that this was always the place:
this stony beach, the crabbers and fishing nets,
the wind-blown houses across the dark waters.


Reminding me again of what this is all about. That I set out to find and fulfill my quest, my personal quest, having wasted enough time in life. I set out to find and do and be what's true for me. And also reminding me of Texada and the Sunshine Coast.

We did an exercise at the end of the day. He asked us what we came for, what we truly wanted out of this. We did it in partners, and did a visioning to find each other's answers. I was lucky to be paired up with a young man with a big strong heart, and an open third-eye (apparently).
His information reminded me of these words, which I have quoted before and have carried with me for a long long time. I saw again today how much they mean to me, and what they've meant all these years, "Where many paths and errands meet."

The whole verse is,

          The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

The poem is, "The Road Goes Ever On", from The Hobbit, and repeated in the Lord of the Rings. I wonder if that's another reason I chose "errand" over "errant". One may never know..

Moss ends his poem with,

You drink deep, and something opens deeper in you
in the cavity of the heart, a cup is filling with light.
Light streams from the heart, pure waterfall, and you know
you have found the Grail, in the one place it can be found.

Is the heart the Grail? Is it in there? I wouldn't know, I don't really know my own heart. "Me too," she wispers.

The first thing you see upon arrival on Texada Island is a quarry. The Island has limestone and cool geology. It's very dry, the largest Gulf Island, and has a pretty unique forest for BC. Jesse and I talked about maybe buying some land there one day. It's beautiful behind it's gouged and ugly facade. Like the limping hawk, I guess it also felt like me. Leaving Texada I picked up a dragonfly on the ferry so it wouldn't get run over. It was also wounded, and it wouldn't get off me for about half an hour. Sweet, beautiful living thing. It drove with us a while, and I let her off on a blade of tall grass by the road.

I've been quite aware of my imperfections lately, although not (like Gord Downie) quite aware of check-out time. In the midst of big changes in life (again), the future unclear (again:), this weekend (and last;) helped remind me - my Grail - I don't think I'll find alone. I feel like there are compatriots out there, travellers in the desert; warriors and navigators.. dreamers and builders.

Over the weekend my question population grew a lot faster than my answers did, but... I think that's good.

The Fisher King made you
His guest, you saw the bleeding
Lance, but you couldn't be bothered
To open your mouth and speak,
Asking why that drop
Of blood came rolling down
From the point of that shining spear!
You saw the Grail carried
In, and never asked
For what great lord it was borne!

The Fisher King is the wounded King, and we are all wounded; imperfect. Like Texada Island and the sharp-shinned hawk, and the dragonfly. Like me.
Robert knows what his Grail means, and I am thankful for his encouraging me to ask (so my quest is not wasted): Whom does the Grail serve?

And whither then? I cannot say.

A year of living dangerously...

Well, it's final - Life Rocks. I left Peterborough on July 1st, "Canada Day", 2010, to do a little experiment. It was to see; if I lived full-on, balls-to-the-wall, following-my-dreams - if that'd be good.
It is.
It's marvellous. I had a home, and job, and all that crap, and - as I said in My Blog, My Chosen Lifestyle, (my first entry) - I will have them again. The difference is - now I don't give a crap.
Seriously - I've been wondering what the difference is. The difference is: Nothing, and I mean nothing - takes priority over my living true to myself. That's why I call it travel even when I have a home and a job (which I do now).

I cannot rest from travel; I will drink
Life to the lees.

Ah, Ulysses, you had it figured out, brother. It's not about moving from place to place, geographically (although that's good), it's about - moving from place to place in your heart, your soul, your life - having courage to face what life gives you, in your world, and in your inner most secret dreams.
This is the road we all travel. I have seen, in my short years, there is only one direction in life - forward. We either do that, or we do nothing. Go ahead and make mistakes, as I've previously quoted;

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.

I mean shit, we all know "you can't be fond of living in the past,
cause if you are then there's no way that you're gonna last".

No way.

I will never go back to Georgia. Georgia is, for me: Nova Scotia? or..  9-5housewifemortgagebabyretirementdeath.. probly more the latter. Fuck that.
Where have I been in the last year? California, three times. Berkeley (2 weeks), San Francisco, Los Angeles(3). Oregon, Washington, all over BC, across a lot of Canada, Cortes and Quadra Islands, tons of time in Tofino, the Sunshine Coast, Vancouver. Absolute quiet. I have been to a land of peace, an inner peace that comes from living your own truth, where there just aren't any questions anymore.
I've crossed places inside myself I wasn't sure I could, or ever would, I've sailed past reefs of uncertainty, clashing rocks of self-doubt, I guess my committment has been - to live life fully, whatever the cost. When my boat got smashed - I swam.

Cause I ain't got nowhere to go back to. Thanks to the Universe 'n I. And if I did - I'd probably go even farther away. Two best compliments ever - my bro played the scene from Forrest Gump, when Seargent Dan straps hisself to the top of the mast of his boat in a storm, it's blowin', he's screamin' - "Is that all you got???"
Once it was playing, he called us over and said - "that's my brother."

The other, Gabriel, livin on the beach at 21, he'd introduce everyone, then say.. nevermind. I told that one before.

The Germans have a saying (I picked up while hitch-hiking there): "half drunk is a waste of money." I'd say, half lived is a waste of .. I dunno, - some currency that we are created with? God-energy? Divine spirit? All the work my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather put into getting laid? (He had bad teeth). Whatever your beliefs - let's not waste it. Cripes.
I can guarantee, absolutely promise and swear on a stack of bricks - that it's worth it. I've tested it out. Leave. Keep going. Do not go home. Do not - go to your safe place.
On the other side of our fear is: Ourselves. At last. No more need to run for love, no more need to seek meaning ouside yourself.

Some journal entries from the last year:

"I just had the most startling revelation! - on fb tonight, lotsa fun, lotsa new girls, new friends, seeing how much my world has grown, and how well, and seeing why - because I'm happy" sometime..

"Today I drove to the top of Mount Shasta, and then hiked, quite high, almost to the ice. Stopped and sat and meditated. in the cold wind and spattering rain. I have been travelling for two months and 19 days. I am your father." Sept 19 2010

"Who cares? Enjoy life. Just relax + enjoy it.
Travel, Love, Make money, laugh,
two sides to everything." March 13, 2011

"October 31st - Halloween! Had a great time last night - went to a party at a friend of Gabriel's - his 50th birthday. Had some fun - Andrew came up from Vancouver. Went to the legion w Ian the cabdriver - I egged us on and we all had fun." October 31, 2010

"Homelessness + Service-
you must free yourself of all things that restrict you
in your ability to serve.
then you must create structures which enhance your
ability to serve." Dec 6, 2010.

"Love the Wind - my heart is open and running w gold. My heart is open. Follow it.
Allow it.
Be in the world with an open heart." April 23, 2011.

"I am an errand knight, and the errand is unknown to me.
... insofar as there is a single question in my life right now, it is: What is my errand?" Aug 6, 2010

"Dreams - July 13, Jasper, went out w Clyf last night to the dead dog or something like that. met some great people. Beautiful french waitress - what was her name? she ditched me"  July 13, 2010

"the babbling brooks of
my land and heart
the changing tides,
and all things in their seasons,
this land is me,
 and I AM this land."
"following one's destiny is like chasing a ghost through a forest at twilight.." July 15thish, 2010

"Your imagination's havin' puppies" July 1, 2011. Ok, that's not really from me.

"Self-realization. Isn't that what this is all about? Or is it?
is it about helping people? What is it about? Funny, it all. For me - it's both." date unknown..

"...  or, turn outward - to the world - and open to a new world, one with spots for me - a role, a woman, love -, fun - more importantly - where I can work with Justice - as my co-worker/partner - close - and possibly more - in the light.
...
I did it.
I talked to Sydne, quit." May 27, 2010.

Here I am, in Kits, in my room, it's 2:42 am, I gave up everything, everything - on the hope that I could have more, that I could find a place where I could help my fellow man in the way I can, and live, love, laugh.
Today, I am here.
I may fall on my face many times, but I do think - the Universe loves risk-takers.
I know the Universe loves me.
And so do I. I can tell, because..
I followed my heart.


And I, infinitesimal being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind.

And I will also, at once, quote my two most-quoted: Rilke (Love Poems to God), and: the Tragically Hip:

You, are always in view.