I thought: "Fuck, I killed, an owl." "What kinda bad omen is that?" "I'm a terrible person." I felt bad. Really bad. I almost felt like I had summoned it up with my prediction, and .. that it was all my fault.
I was distraught in Van, at Di's, and she gave me some cards to see if I could find any answers. The one that stood out was - The ROYAL ORDER. We aid each other on the journey to ascension But we can't help others unless we first help ourselves.
On Friday, on my way back, I swung around and walked that stretch of road = no dead owl. No feathers. Nothing. It coulda been dragged off by a scavenger, a dog, or a driving-by taxidermist/feather-picker. Or - it may have lived. I went home Friday and watched animal snuff-films - you know 'cat vs. owl' - on youtube .. for a whole hour.
Birds of prey are amazingly resilient. I started to wonder if maybe I had not killed the owl after all. [Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkW7r-rgeBQ .. this is tenacity on the level of my brother - do not fuck with this bird! A goose can break your arm, you could run that gyrfalcon over repeatedly and he'd still get up and choke the crap out of you.]
Nonetheless - the whole sordid tale threw a pall over me and my life for a few days. I was an owl-killer, curséd by owls, whom I love and adore.
Saturday, Diana and I went down to Grice Bay for a walk on the mud-flats. On the drive back at dusk, half-way up the Grice Bay road, an owl dropped out of the trees to our left, swooped in front of the car, opening his wings wide right in front of us, and then cresting and landing in a tree on the other side of the road.
I was shocked, but managed to stop the car and back up. There he was, just sitting there. What the heck!? I got out, stood under the tree, took a few pictures, talked to him. I thanked him for his visit, and for assuring me I hadn't killed him. But it was about more than that. He sat, turned away, rotated his head, and turned back to look directly at me - over and over. I have never had an encounter with an animal that seemed so... intentional. He was so all-knowing, wise, simple, straight-forward: a living mystery. An alien.
Nonetheless - the whole sordid tale threw a pall over me and my life for a few days. I was an owl-killer, curséd by owls, whom I love and adore.
Saturday, Diana and I went down to Grice Bay for a walk on the mud-flats. On the drive back at dusk, half-way up the Grice Bay road, an owl dropped out of the trees to our left, swooped in front of the car, opening his wings wide right in front of us, and then cresting and landing in a tree on the other side of the road.
I was shocked, but managed to stop the car and back up. There he was, just sitting there. What the heck!? I got out, stood under the tree, took a few pictures, talked to him. I thanked him for his visit, and for assuring me I hadn't killed him. But it was about more than that. He sat, turned away, rotated his head, and turned back to look directly at me - over and over. I have never had an encounter with an animal that seemed so... intentional. He was so all-knowing, wise, simple, straight-forward: a living mystery. An alien.
Another friend put it differently (than the royal order), more gently - the beauty path. We must stay on it. That could be another name for this blog; The Beauty Path: weird nature encounters as road-signs to self. Do we choose the path, or does the path choose us? Is there any difference?
I'm not sure what he wanted, this owl who wanted to get into my car, and my life. I told him I'd do what he asked. There's a quote from a book I'm reading, but I can't find it. The book is Forest Mage, by Robin Hobb. Very enjoyable light fantasy-adventure. Or so I thought. The parallels to my life since I started it are a bit creepy.
The main character is a young man, who is destined to serve as a soldier. He becomes possessed by forest magic, as his people encounter a forest-dwelling people, who believe in magic instead of rational steel. The forest magic is his destiny.
The quote is where his teacher and lover says to him, "foolish boy, you will do what the magic wants, one way or another - it is your path." He sees that every time he has resisted his destiny what he clung to was taken away from him.
Carlos Castaneda's teacher, Don Juan, said that once you took the path of personal power - you had no control over where it would guide you. Joseph Campbell said that once you accept "The Call" - you don't know where the path will lead you.
But follow it, you must. As Cpt. Willard said, "never get outta the boat - not unless you're gonna go all the way.."
We run from our fates: nothing is more terrifying. We try to hide, we lie to ourselves; "this isn't real," "it was only a dream," "that promise didn't mean anything.."
.. but it did. Oh, it did.
Owl is absolute mercilessness, with absolute love, and truth-to-nature .. when life asked you, and you said Yes, you didn't say, "yes, but only if so-and-so says it's ok," or "yes, but only if it doesn't take me off The Program.." Fuck the program.
I'm not sure what he wanted, this owl who wanted to get into my car, and my life. I told him I'd do what he asked. There's a quote from a book I'm reading, but I can't find it. The book is Forest Mage, by Robin Hobb. Very enjoyable light fantasy-adventure. Or so I thought. The parallels to my life since I started it are a bit creepy.
The main character is a young man, who is destined to serve as a soldier. He becomes possessed by forest magic, as his people encounter a forest-dwelling people, who believe in magic instead of rational steel. The forest magic is his destiny.
The quote is where his teacher and lover says to him, "foolish boy, you will do what the magic wants, one way or another - it is your path." He sees that every time he has resisted his destiny what he clung to was taken away from him.
Carlos Castaneda's teacher, Don Juan, said that once you took the path of personal power - you had no control over where it would guide you. Joseph Campbell said that once you accept "The Call" - you don't know where the path will lead you.
But follow it, you must. As Cpt. Willard said, "never get outta the boat - not unless you're gonna go all the way.."
We run from our fates: nothing is more terrifying. We try to hide, we lie to ourselves; "this isn't real," "it was only a dream," "that promise didn't mean anything.."
.. but it did. Oh, it did.
Owl is absolute mercilessness, with absolute love, and truth-to-nature .. when life asked you, and you said Yes, you didn't say, "yes, but only if so-and-so says it's ok," or "yes, but only if it doesn't take me off The Program.." Fuck the program.
Maybe you didn't say yes. This blog's not for you.
Obey the ROYAL ORDER.
Follow your Destiny, you chose it.
Make it a beautiful path.
Snatch it.
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